There was a time, not too long ago, when my house was tidy, I exercised daily, went shoe shopping with my girlfriend on the lunch break, and I climbed the Great Wall of China for a job!
I wore pants that zipped up comfortably and fashionable shoes that were uncomfortable. I never yelled, I never checked my shirts for unidentifiable stains or checked my bag for weird smells. There was a time when my biggest stress involved deciding how to spend day off, or whether I had lip-gloss in my bag.
That was seven-and-a-half years ago, when I still worked full-time—before I give it all up to become mum and move to England. Boy arrived, with him sleep deprivation, and postnatal depression, isolation, funny Eastern European accent that nobody could understand…. And at top of it, my husband was suffering with severe job related stress and burnout. He still got the same job. All together impacted our relationship, and add to the stress.
Of course, it’s easy to look back on my working days with fondness, thinking I was happier. But a study conducted not long ago,discovered that full-time working mothers reported better physical and mental health than part-time working mothers or home stayed mothers, confirming that my lower stress levels while in the workforce weren’t imaginary.
“You still know that you can quit [your job], you can look for something else, that you can leave. Those aren’t exactly strategies that you have for home, right?”
My solution was coaching! I never looked back. I gain back control of my life. All I needed was magic ear, support, acceptance, and encouragement, to turn me around towards my self and grow. I went back to school and become coach. Today I am that magic ear, that soundboard. My English accent in not funny or annoying any more, now a day represents diversity of people I worked with, culture and experience. Ever since, I am helping other ladies to get back on track. Stress is the most common issue we work on.
Let talk about the complicated reasons behind why we feel so much stress when we are at home with our children. Would you agree with me, if I point out that much of mum’s stress comes from her reluctance to delegate household tasks to her partner—of which I’m notoriously guilty. Missing out on outside reassurances that you’re doing a good job and, of course, the overwhelming question of “Am I raising a good kid?”
Or should I mention that the constant demands of young children are enough to test the patience of even the most zen mums and dads. Not me, by the way J
O forgot to say, lack of privacy, isolation, lack of confidence, self-esteem. My job scenery never changes, in that I’m always ‘on’ and serving. Drinks, drop offs, lunches, homework, school drama, bath time and stories. Never mind laundry, dinner and cleaning! It’s a great job, I adore my child and feel lucky I’m able to be home and work from home, but I’m and stressed out too.
We all have moments in time in which we feel stressed, but sometimes we don't even realize how burnt-out we are even if others around us can see that we are. Being a burnt-out mum is not only bad for you, but it's also bad for the people around you. Unfortunately, mothers are socialized to ignore their needs; taking care of us as mothers is considered selfish. Worse still, asking for help is seen as somewhat weak.
This cultural attitude of the "strong woman" is hurtful to mothers and women. Being strong doesn't mean working yourself to death until you're exhausted and mentally spent. Be a "strong mother “ ask for help. Utilize your partner if you've got one and your family or friends based on their strengths. Rome was not built in a day. It takes a village to raise a child.
You are not Rome. You are not a village.
Strategize and take care of yourself or you're no good for anyone! As they say on the airplanes, in case of emergency, put oxygen mask first on your self and then help others.
Start taking care of yourself today! Fight that insomnia, anxiety, depression, panicky feelings, and burnouts. Fight stress, and overtiredness.If you feel isolated, burnout, overwhelmed, and you can’t remember last time you had good night sleep?!
We all live fast, but we need “down” time in order to recharge. Why not join me for 6 weeks transformational stress management course?!#stress4less
Over the 6 weeks period, I will put my self in “your shoes”. You will have that missing support. I won’t be judging you, but will teach you everything I know in order to control your stress, and improve your wellbeing. You will gain more time for your selves, be present and engaged when spending time with the kids. We will find that missing puzzle in your lives, to feel worthy and confident again. Acceptance, and support on the path, magic ear that will listen, and help you to turn towards your inners self and grow.
See you there ! #Stress4Less